| oh god |
[Nov. 3rd, 2008|07:31 pm] |
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you know tomorrow i am going to go vote for a man i think is an fool just so that i don't have to vote for a man that wants to be the scourge of humanity. (shakes head and asks why Hillery couldn't have made it into the election). |
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| ranting |
[Oct. 14th, 2008|05:21 pm] |
i go to work early tomorrow, Thursday is the dedication, and Cris comes back from vacation! Friday i have to come in early again. people are after me to hang out with them and its like ok, i would love to, but i can't. i hate telling people no, And for some reason i sorta jut want to go shoping but there is no time, and i want to get my hair cut before the dedication, i mean there isn't much sence in dressing up if you are still going to look and unkept and shit. lol, i just realised that this is the first time i have every wrote anything in hear just to pass the time.
anyway, i keep telling myself that i need to be more soshal and maby get a boyfreind, lol well there is no chanse in hell of that happening now that i whent to the book sale than got 23 books to add to the stack of books i still have to reed, i know bright move on my part. almost as good as lissening to my brothers veiw on politics, for all the reasons that exist in the world to do anything i think he perpusly picks the most asinine, but then again i am the most conservitive member of my family and i am going to be voting with the liberals (may the lady preserve us). of corse there isn't a single canidit that has anything even bordering on a good fiscal policy, i mean hell we all know deep down that this country either has to go into a depreshon or we are going to be facing hyper-inflation, not my idea of a good time, but if you give me a choise i will take the depreshon please and thank you. i hate how people act like nothing lines up in a couse and effect relationship. the one thing you have to give the run of the mill conservitive though is that they never see the patteren, i mean they tend to run around propetualy shocked, ware liberals are like we did good, but i have no clue how that colapsed on us. i guess thats why i don't tend to like people they mainly come and two verieties and nither one really makes any sence. (in case anyone is still reading this and wonders as to my political beleifs, i am a reactionary and everyone in politics today is far to complacent for me).
anyway i think i am just about out of things i dare allow on a public site, or anyware outside of a journal that can be burned at a moments notice. so i will rant at you all some other time. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 8th, 2008|04:11 pm] |
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marya, your replacement at your old job is hot!!!! as hell, and witty too, his name is williem and he is really hot. |
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| another day |
[Sep. 24th, 2008|12:43 pm] |
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wow, when did i get to the point ware i can't figure out when i am to this point, god i feel lost in so many ways even i know so much of whats going on but for everything i know thats new it seams to count for less and less. i don't even get the thrill from knowing useless trivea any more. why dose it seam to count for so little any more and yet i hunger for it all the more. i want to know everything and yet i accept that to know everything is to loos the context for everything of value. |
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| curren feelings |
[Sep. 23rd, 2008|01:56 pm] |
i still stare at the abyss every night, and walk about blind during the day. i know my life is getting back on track, but for some reason it still gets my ire up having half the world thinking that i am an ideit and the other half expecting the world to be set right by me. i live in a state ware almost nothing touches me, but unlike in the past i don't seem to have anyone that can chip at that shell, and the only thing i feel that belongs to me and exists in common with the rest of the world is formality and that just seams to alienate me more as people just tend to see that as me being frigid, and who knows, they probably are right.
I can't wait for this weekend with Lindy, she thinks in a simmiler way to the way i do, and i realy need that now.
i hope carl comes to my party on the 4th, it is hard for me not to know if he is actually ok, and he has a way of getting into truble, i just wish he would get that i am hear for him always |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 1st, 2008|07:44 am] |
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today is the first day of my new job, i start at 8:00am, and get out at 4:30pm. its going to be great. i am actually going to be able to define the responsibilities of my position and its just going to be nice, because this means that i can get everything set in a functional manner. most likely i wont have time for going to school at Cornell for a wile, so after i get settled in i am just going to go back to tc3 and do whats needed for getting my associates, and go from there. well that that and i need to get going, so i will see you'll around. |
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| update |
[Jun. 14th, 2008|08:37 am] |
for those of you that don't know, yes i am still alive.
with that out of the way lets see, life is sorta in flux right now with work.
the people that i count as my closest friends have shifted a lot of late (this means i don't really talk to the people i used to think i was really close to).
still trying to figure out what weekend i should go up to the lake, i was going to go this one, but there is going to be a marmoreal for Ray Wu, and i figured that i should go since he represented most every quality that i admire in people.
other than that i guess i have been a little short with people of late because i have been having some particularly nasty migraines.
well that was just about the most thourow update i have ever done thats not singular in perpus so yay i think maybe... |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 15th, 2008|06:56 pm] |
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its getting to that time of the year, yay... one of these weekends soon i am going to have to go up to the lake, and i can't wait to see aunt sandy... oh i cooked the first good thing i have bothered to cook in a long time (excluding breakfast food)yesterday. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 26th, 2008|07:53 pm] |
my computer died, so things will be sparatic on hear, as things at work are also in a bit of an upheaval (it makes me happy and feel needed). so if you want to talk to me just give me a call.
its rainy and nasty outside and i don't even want to think what its going to be like when its time to go home. but at least i have a few cool projects that i am working on, one of which i am going to work on in a little bit. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 23rd, 2008|04:43 pm] |
i think i am going to be scared of latters for a wile...
p.s. you can ask but you won't get a strait answer as i am just being neurotic |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 10th, 2008|04:10 pm] |
everything is ready, i am leaving in the morning. this is the first time i am going to travle without anyone that i know, it makes me think of the last time i when to nyc, that was so long ago, i was in the same car as my girl friend (back when i was so in denial that i thought i was strait) both ways and it was a blast. she always amassed me with her creativity and her vision, Shingy on the hill... i still miss Shanty at times, i guess that i loved her in a way.
anyway on to topics more in line with the day, for those of you that don't know and thats most of you, i am going to visit Sheila this weakend and won't be back till midafter noon Monday. so i hope you all have a good weekend. most of you are wonderful people, and i care for you all more than i can ever express... |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 31st, 2008|04:03 pm] |
it's Brenda's last day tomorrow, that whole situation doesn't sit wright with me, but at least it sounds like it will work out nicely for her and that at least is good, because she is a good egg and deserves a good situation.
on other notes, Ed Cleveland is doing better and looks like he will pull through, and Marylou said that he was coherent and able to talk. i meant to call you and tell you about that, and i have a little more information on the subject but not much more, but if you haven't heard i would be glad to inform you of what i do know though, and i will try to talk to you soon though i can't guaranty that i will, as i have been quite absorbed between people and my alone time that i need.
oh, and once the weather gets better i am going to get to make a fire, yay, Aunt Jamie is clearing some land so i am going to help her, its going to be fun, i haven't done this in a few years now and so that will be great. i might help her with building the garage too but i am only a so so carpenter so we will see depending on who else ends up helping and latter in the summer i am going to help Aunt Debby with building up the beach at the lake, apparently they moved one of the barrier walls, so hopefully it will work this time.
this is one of my favorite songs
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 24th, 2008|07:40 pm] |
my laptop is temporarily in order due to the destruction of about three junk drives at work, don't ask, i don't understand technology and it was a hardware problem so i could still sorta fix it.
i now feel obligated to actually do some work in the direction of getting into ILR, no matter how i look at this its going to be a lot of work and leave some uncomfortable dissishins to be made that i have been putting off, usually these things come so easy, to bad this is more emotionally involved than most choses about the futter
more information will be forthcoming upon breakdown or progress |
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| Loreena McKennitt, Greensleeves |
[Mar. 24th, 2008|04:17 pm] |
(poss. Henry VIII of England, 1500's.)
Alas, my love, you do me wrong,
To cast me off discourteously.
For I have loved you well and long,
Delighting in your company.
Chorus:
Greensleeves was all my joy
Greensleeves was my delight,
Greensleeves was my heart of gold,
And who but my lady greensleeves.
Your vows you've broken, like my heart,
Oh, why did you so enrapture me?
Now I remain in a world apart
But my heart remains in captivity.
chorus
I have been ready at your hand,
To grant whatever you would crave,
I have both wagered life and land,
Your love and good-will for to have.
chorus
If you intend thus to disdain,
It does the more enrapture me,
And even so, I still remain
A lover in captivity.
chorus
My men were clothed all in green,
And they did ever wait on thee;
All this was gallant to be seen,
And yet thou wouldst not love me.
chorus
Thou couldst desire no earthly thing,
but still thou hadst it readily.
Thy music still to play and sing;
And yet thou wouldst not love me.
chorus
Well, I will pray to God on high,
that thou my constancy mayst see,
And that yet once before I die,
Thou wilt vouchsafe to love me.
chorus
Ah, Greensleeves, now farewell, adieu,
To God I pray to prosper thee,
For I am still thy lover true,
Come once again and love me.
chorus
@courting
recorded by Deller Consort on Best Loved Songs
also Dyer-Bennett
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| the sun will come out tomarra |
[Mar. 20th, 2008|03:48 pm] |
yay, life is good again
and i was right
people are funny
ger...
moo cow, casual conversation fuller since 1953
i want to be able to draw
tree
water
Thor
Boom!!!
N2
if i where a bunny i would hop
its hard to win a card game when distracting yourself
green and wight
Greensleeves
reordering for sleep
why are there so many ammiture versions of black is the color on you tube
no more thoughts for you... haha, poke your a cheese casserole... yes, i poked you with a fork... i should put you in a container and make a boat and go sailing!!!... yes... i want to... lets build a boat... i always wanted to... i always liked using things crafted by inexperienced hands... i think that more of a persons hart gos into a rough peace that is hard made than in something finely made with ease... and an oil lamp to light the way... one of the ones i saved... old but not incredibly so... it would go well with the house and the stone paths!!! now to be done and avoid tangent.
this is the only thought that has to do with any of the others, and it is just hear so you don't make crazy leaps of logic based on the random ordering of a mind.
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| lights |
[Mar. 7th, 2008|07:55 pm] |
i am stuck at work with nothing to do, i have no clue how Steve survives these events that require nothing from the overseer. in the last few hours i finished a book started a new one and discovered how much i like to talk to inanimate objects.
only a little longer and my sanity will have a chance at a comeback but after 5 hours of getting payed for being in the appointed area and pretty much nothing else, i think that this is to much for me. i knew i should have followed my instincts and brought something more with me to do today. i think i am going to need to get a position of power in some company just so that i can find something to do when everything runs out. |
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| life's weal turn again |
[Mar. 6th, 2008|04:10 pm] |
i haven't said much on hear lately.
i look to see how everyone else is doing.
i find that to little is said by most and that i fell out of a lot of peoples lives really fast when they do wright.
i am coming to terms with things that have happened and while i am not so proud of the way many of the things happened i am grateful for the outcome, for the first time in so long i look at mirrors and don't worry that i am going to see someone that i want to tare apart and see bleeding on the floor.
i want you all to know that i care for you, even if i don't say it and i hope that if you watch you will see that i say in other ways.
i think i might start forgetting this journal soon, in favor of a thousand projects, the warm air and the sound of flowing water, the sun in the sky, or the moon. i think i am in love with life again.
the following has nothing to do with the rest of the entry, but i had to put it in hear for my own satisfaction...:)
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 4th, 2008|04:21 pm] |
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i have officially decided that having an attention span equal to that of a gnat is not good enough... the problem being there are to many shiny things to make it grow longer... oh the horror, oh look shiny... :) |
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